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Contents
Opinion;
...Flying
backwards; .For Those
Who Take Flying Life too Seriously; ...The
Real, True and Un-exaggerated Rules of Flying; ... The
Future; ... Future FARs; ... Sixteen
Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn; ...Quips
stolen from Bugzilla mozilla.com; ...Things
Everyone Should Know; ...Christmas
Poem; ...Flying West; ...Why
Airplanes Are Better Than Women(2); ...Rendezvous
With a Dream; ...Pre-Wright
Bros. Rules of the Air; ...Paul
Harvey on his 82nd Birthday; About
Flying; ...Thoughts; ...Charles
Schultz Philosophy; ...Will Rogers; ..AND,
ABOUT GROWING OLDER; ...SHORT AND SWEET;
...This is odd ! Acrobatics;
...Sayings of Pilots; ...Old
Pilots; ...A Reason to Fly; ...Earthquake
Survival; ...A Collection of
Rambling Thoughts; ...Oil; ...Spell Checker
Broke; ...The Old Poodle; ...Origin
of the First Word in Flying; ...Whitts
Flying in the TOILET!!!!!! ;...Funny Flying
Story; ...The Physics of Flying; ...WEIGHT;
Aviation Dictionary;
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on
time.
- The Airline Airplane Law
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
- Allen's Law
I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and then I know my
way around pretty well sometimes.
The pilot who thinks first, will have good fortune.
The pilot who thinks ahead will have even better fortune.
Ignorance will take you to a lot more interesting places than knowledge.
Stupidity got us into this mess -- why can't it get us out?
Scoring
You must stay in the safe middle between the following:
thrill seeker vs. Risk taker
In command vs. Hardheaded
seeking freedom vs abusing freedom
Mix discipline, responsibility and experience to get a safe pilot. Even
safe pilots need to stir into the mix considerable luck.
Opinion
I find flying to be an exercise involving all my senses. I'm constantly
LOOKING outside the cockpit to see
what the airplane is doing in the real world (and from that you
can detect sink rate thus airspeed, attitude,
bank angle, turn rate, and turn coordination)
I'm LISTENING to the sound of the engine and wind thus detecting
correct engine speed for what I'm doing (you learn to know the
musical note of the engine in its cruise setting) and detecting
a high airspeed when you can hear the wind rushing past the cockpit
I'm FEELING the airplane through my butt detecting balanced turns
and to some extent sink rate and, of
course, the bounces of some of my really miserable landings!
I can't say I'm SMELLING too much except maybe a fuel leak but
it certainly comes into play when hand
swinging to tell if it's flooded and if I TASTE fear, I know
I've really cocked something up big time! :-)
So, there you have all 5 senses and not an instrument in the
bunch! It all comes with concentrated time in the cockpit. I didn't
get the feel of an airplane until I had about 30 hours in the
same Cub and I got to know it backwards and forwards. By the
time I had about 50 hours in it, I felt I could fly it without
any instruments at all.
It'll come to you. You just have to fly with a bit of awareness
of all your senses and what they're telling you. Now, this is
all for VFR flight - it all goes out the window for instrument
flying when you ignore your senses and fly it totally by instruments.
Well, not all of it goes out the window, The competent IFR pilot
uses sound, smell, feel, hearing, and muscle sensations
A Life Flying Backwards a la the The George Carlin Theory
The most unfair thing about flying is the way it ends. I
mean, flying is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do
you get at the end of it? Death. What's that, a bonus? Worse
you lose your medical and have a living death. The FAA could avoid a
flying death by allowing two pilots of questionable health fly as a team until
one dies. The survivor could then create another team. Makes too
much sense for a government agency.
I think the cycle of flying is backwards. You should give up flying first, get it out of the way. Then you live at an old age sitting in empty hangars talking with even older pilots. You get kicked out of the bragging rights group when you're too young, you get a couple of emails, and you work to age sixty. You move to the left seat, move to the right seat, get your ATP rating. Fly a thousand hours of instruction while getting your multi-engine, CFI, Instrument, and commercial. You pass the PP checkride and scratch your way trying to work and have a life out of flying.
You finish school, you go to grade school, and you have a childhood. You play, you have no responsibility, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating, It all ends with an orgasm.
TAKING FLYING LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY
--A day without sunshine is like, night.
--On the other wing, you have a different color.
--I just got lost in thought without a GPS. It was unfamiliar territory.
--Most of flying statistics are made up on the fly..
--Barefoot pilots can count higher.
--When slipping I feel like I'm flying diagonally in a parallel universe.
--Had a student forget how to straighten out before touchdown. Plane
didn't like it.
.--According to the FARs the right to remain silent, means anything said will
be used against you.
--I wonder how much higher the sky would be without clouds.
--Remember half the pilots you know are below average.
--In a class of pilots what do you call the one with the lowest passing
grade? Pilot.
--Despite the cost of flying, have you noticed how popular airspeed remains?
--Ever noticed the number of high-performance aircraft that fly at 172 speeds
to save fuel?
--Nothing in flying is foolproof to a talented fool.
--Weather forecasting is a non-prophet career.
--He who is in the slowest airplane gets hit in the rear by a bird.
--Sea Gulls may soar, but gophers don't get sucked into jet
engines.
--The early bird may get the worm, but the early worm gets caught.
--Every day I set a new record, for my own longevity.
--I intend to fly forever -- so far so good --too, bad I got such a late
start..
--The last recourse of reckless flying is faster reflexes
--When everything's coming your way, you're at the wrong altitude or going the wrong way.
--If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that
you tried.
--Experience is something you don't get until just after
you need it.
--For every flight maneuver there is an equal and opposite CFI criticism.
--Aircraft bills travel through the airmail at twice the speed of payment checks
--No one is listening until your airplane makes a sound.
--No one is watching your flying until you make a mistake.
--Flying success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
--Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life, unless it's at the
airport.
--Flight time is not deducted from your life span.
--You never really learn to swear until you learn to fly.
--Two wrongs are only the beginning, ask the Wrights.
--The sooner you fall behind the airplane, the less time you have to
catch up.
--A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
--Change is inevitable except from FAA.
--Get a new plane for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!
1- I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2- Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3- Half the people you know are below average.
4- 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5- 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8- If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
9- All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10- The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
12- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13- How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14- If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
15- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
19- I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.
20- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23- My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder."
24- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
25- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research.
30- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31- The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
Fortune Cookies Tell about Flying
Every flyer puts some portion of an apparently stable world in peril.
He that can have the patience to learn to fly can have what he will
Tomorrow may too late, fly today.
No one can fly backward into the future.
Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together as they do in an
airplane.
Safe flight consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you do
hold well.
Trust your flying intuition. The universe is guiding your flight
The education of your will is the object of your flight training
THE REAL, TRUE AND UN-EXAGGERATED RULES OF FLYING
1.If you really want to get better at flying, go back and take
it up at a much earlier age.
2.The process of flying is 90% mental and 10% mental.
3.Since bad landings come in groups of three; a fourth bad
landing is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
4.When you fixate and cause an awful deviation, you will always
look away again at exactly the moment when you ought to start
watching the instrument.
5.Any change works for a maximum of three minutes and a minimum
of not at all.
6.No matter how bad you are flying, it is always possible
to fly worse.
7.Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your
mind during your flight.
8.When your flight is over water, you can either carry more
fuel, put on another engine or both.
9.If you're afraid full fuel tanks might not reach the destination
while the headwind increases ahead of you, you have two options:
you can immediately land for fuel, or you can wait until the
tanks read empty and crash without fear of fire.
10.The less skilled the pilot, the more likely he is to share
his ideas about the flying.
11.The inevitable result of any flying lesson is the instant
elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed
you to compensate for all your errors.
12.If the airplane won't hold heading or altitude, try changing
your grip.
13.Pilots who claim they don't violate the FARs, also lie.
14.Everyone communicates better after ATC complements your
quick clearing of the runway.
15.A precise flight is a test of your skill against everyone
else's luck.
16.It's surprisingly easy follow a vector to an airport when
you have been lost for the past half-hour.
17.Counting on a controller to inform you when he makes a
mistake is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
18.Are Nonchalant flying logs the same as chalant flying.
19.It has not been a safe flight until you walk away from
the aircraft.
20.The shortest distance between any two points on sectional
is a straight line that passes directly through the center of
a very large body of water.
20.5: All interesting destinations are located on sectional
chart folds & edges.
21.There are two kinds of landing bounces: unexpected bounces,
and bounces just the way you meant to land it.
22.You can hit the runway numbers 10% of the time, and everywhere
else 90% of the time.
23.Every time a pilot makes a good landing, he must subsequently
burn a tire to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
24.If you want to fly a better practice ILS, look out the
window.
25.To calculate the groundspeed for your cross-country flight,
double the forecast headwind and take half of your estimated
airspeed. Spit out the window.
26.There are two things you can learn by trimming for hands-off
flight, how many hands you have, and which foot is on the rudder.
27.Power lines attract; fairways repel.
28.You can put flaps in for the landing, you can slip with
flaps for the landing but no pilot can put "grease"
on for the touchdown
28.5 When you can't see the wires, fly over the poles..
29. The airport that you can see does not have the runway
numbers you are expecting. happens to the best of us.
30.If there is a runway under repair, the one you must use
has a 90-degree crosswind, gusting to 25.
31.If the ILS is down at the airport, your ADF is in the shop.
32.Don't buy an autopilot until you've had a chance to fly
in a thunderstorm.
The Future...
In the future, there will be no training in spin recovery.
Spins and spin recovery techniques will be discussed while safely
on the ground, and we'll just hope that when a pilot inadvertently
spins, he won't spend the rest of his life figuring out how a
recovery really works. And we'll just hope he doesn't keep holding
full stick back and opposite aileron while crying Help."
Besides, modern airplanes are very spin-resistant.
In the future, we will not fly on the edge of stall. Slow flight
will be done with a comfortable 20% margin over stall, and intentional
stalls will be recovered at the first indication - like when
the stall horn goes off. There's no need to explore the buffet
anyway - that's what the stall horn is for. In the future, we
will not practice soft and short field operations from actual
short grass obstructed strips, lest the flight instructor decide
to retract the flaps over the obstacle, stall, and total the
plane or something equally silly. There are lots of long paved
runways all over the place, no sense taking unnecessary chances.
In the future, we will not bank steeply. It scares the passengers,
and if it scares the passengers it must be bad. 60 degrees is
too steep. Maybe 45 is to steep too. Really, what reason does
anyone have for using more than 30 degrees of bank? Turns of
more than 30 degrees of bank will be considered aerobatic maneuvers,
and will require parachutes be worn if passengers are carried.
And banking over 30 degrees in the pattern will be considered
aerobatic maneuvering below 1500 AGL, and will be forbidden.
In the future, we will not fly the pattern so as to be able to
land on the runway should the engine fail. It's too close, happens
too fast, does not allow sufficient time to ensure a stabilized
approach, the power reduction to idle scares the passengers,
and it can require that you bank steeply, so see above. And flying
the pattern wider gives you more time to announce your position
on CTAF on downwind, base, and final. Good radio technique is
important. Modern engines are very reliable anyway.
In the future, we will phase out visual navigation except as a supplemental method. If a few old fossils want to fly that way, I guess we won't stop them, but we need to nip this dangerous habit of flying without the guidance of navaids in the bud. We will equip all training aircraft with electronic navigation equipment, and we will make sure no student pilot ever has to find his way on a cross country by swooping down to read the name on a water tower ever again. That's clearly unsafe.
In the future we will be more careful about the way we train student pilots. It's foolhardy to send student pilots solo to uncontrolled fields, where there is neither an instructor nor a tower to tell them what to do. And it's equally foolish to let them fly solo to airports where they have never been, or to fly solo when there are gusting crosswinds, or restricted visibilities, or ice on the runway. Such training only leads some to fly foolishly, and scares off their more careful and astute peers.
Aviation has a bright future. By eliminating all these dangerous, unnecessary, and often downright scary practices from the training environment, flying will become safer and more accessible than ever before. And that's what's really important. Isn't it?
Future FARs
FAR 121 Subpart B
121.17a No air carrier or air carriers or person or persons acting
on the direction or suggestion or supervision of the air carrier
or air carriers, may try, or attempt to try to comprehend or
understand any or all, in whole or in part of the herein mentioned
Federal Aviation's Regulations, except as authorized by the Administrator,
or an agent appointed by or inspected by the Administrator.
121.27b If the air carrier, or group of associate air carriers
become aware of, or realizes, or detects, or discovers, or finds
that he or she or they are, or have been, beginning to understand
the Federal Aviation Regulations, he/she/they must immediately,
within three (3) days or thirty-six (36) hours, whichever comes
first, submit, in writing to the Administrator a notice of impending
comprehension.
121.27c Upon receipt of the above mentioned notice of impending
comprehension, the administrator will immediately rewrite the
regulations in such a manner as to eliminate any further comprehension
hazards.
121.27d The Administrator may, at her discretion, require the offending air carrier or air carriers or person or persons to attend remedial instructions in the Federal Aviation Regulations, until such time as the air carrier or air carriers or person or persons are too confused to be capable of understanding anything.
Sixteen Things That it Took Me 50 Years to Learn ~ by Dave
Barry
1. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight-savings time.
3. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
6. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness."
7. People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.
9. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is
to annoy people who are not in them.
11. You should not confuse your career with your life.
12. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not
a nice person.
13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take
it too seriously.
15. Your friends love you, anyway.
1. The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first.
2. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public
schools.
3. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing
well.
4. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in
rats.
5. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
6. When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands
of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Quips stolen from bugzilla.mozilla.com
1. Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything
that's even remotely true.
2. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
- Steven Wright
3. Enjoy your job, make lots of money, work within the law: choose
any two.
4. Failure is not an option - it comes bundled with every Microsoft
product
5. Every American has the right to free speech... Unless they're
one of those Commie Gun-hating Sissy-boys who like to burn flags!
6. Socialism is when man exploits man. Capitalism is the reverse.
7. As a development process, chaos does not scale well.
8. Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the
darkness -- T. Pratchett
9. Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
10. If one standard is good, then two standards are better!
11. Most people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
12. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Things everyone should know.....
1. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband
doesn't give her coffee.
2. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
2.5 The dot of a gun sight is called the pipper.
3. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce
up and down continually from the bottom of the glass to the top.
Found this on the bulletin board at Buttonville.
Found on the Internet
"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand
and "lollipop" with your right. (Bet you tried this out mentally,
didn't you?)
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. (I'll bet you're
going to check this out.)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
(Are you doubting this?)
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop
growing.
The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses
every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out
for accuracy, right?) (First year typing student is familiar with this one)
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left
to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to
"do" this one.)
There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous":
tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous (You're not doubting this, are
you?)
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order:
"abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going
to say ... a e i o u)
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one
row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)
All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of
the $5 bill
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue. (but who really cares?)
A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my
memory span is)
A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.)
Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
Almonds are a member of the peach family.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to
6 years of age.
Butterflies taste with their feet.
Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end
because of the rate of reproduction.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of
6 months waiting at red lights.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is
an American flag.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite!
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it
burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a
chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that)
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it
will digest itself.
THERE! ... Now you know everything!
Submitted for your consideration:
More Submitted for your consideration:
("Freedom and security are polar opposites, and I am not willing to give
up my freedom for the sake of terrorists")
Tom Bush (Navy pilot before Congress)
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, and out on the ramp,
Not an airplane was stirring, not even a Champ.
The aircraft were fastened to tiedowns with care,
In hopes that come morning, they all would be there.
The fuel trucks were nestled, all snug in their spots,
While peak gusts from two-zero reached 39 knots.
And I at the fuel desk, now finally caught up,
Had just settled comfortably down on my butt.
When over the radio, there arose such a clatter,
I turned up the scanner to see what was the matter.
A voice clearly heard over static and snow,
Asked for clearance to land at the airport below.
He barked out his transmission so lively and quick,
I could have sworn that the call sign he used was "St.Nick".
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Sure that it was only Horizon's late Dash.
Then he called his position, and there could be no denial,
"This is St Nicholas One and I'm turning on final."
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A Rutan sleigh, and eight Rotax reindeer.
He flew the approach on glideslopes he came,
As he passed all fixes, he called them by name:
"Now Ringo! Now Tolga! Now Trini and Bacun!
On Comet! On cupid! 'What pills was he takin'?
Those last couple of fixes left controller's confused,
They called down to the office to give me the news,
The message they left was both urgent and dour:
"When Santa lands, could he please call the tower?"
He landed like silk, with the sled runner's sparking,
Then I heard "Exit at Charlie," and "Taxi to parking."
So up to the offices the coursers they flew,
With loud airplane noise, and St. Nicholas, too.
He stepped out of the sleigh, but before he could talk,
I had run out to him with my best set of chocks.
He was dressed all in fur, which was covered with frost
And his beard was all blackened from reindeer exhaust.
His breath smelled like peppermint, gone slightly stale
And he smoked on a pipe, but he didn't inhale.
He had a broad face and his armpits were smelly,
And his boots were as black as a cropduster's belly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old fool,
And he kindly informed me that he needed some fuel.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his toes,
Led me to know he was desperate to powder his nose.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my work,
And I filled up the sleigh, but I spilled like a jerk.
He came out of the restroom with a sigh of relief,
And then picked up a phone for a flight service brief.
And I thought, as he silently scribed in his log,
That with Rudolph, he could land in eighth-mile fog.
Next, he completed his preflight, from front to rear,
Then he put on his headset, and I heard him yell, "Clear!"
And laying a finger on his push-talk,
He called up the tower for his clearance and squawk.
"Straight out on two-zero," the tower called forth,
"And watch for a Cessna straight in from the North."
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he climbed in the night,
"Happy Christmas to all, I have traffic in sight."
Flying West
I hope there's a place, way up in the sky,
Where pilots can go, when they have to die.
A place where a guy can buy a cold beer
For a friend and a comrade, whose memory is dear;
A place where no doctor or lawyer can tread,
Nor a management type would ere be caught dead;
Just a quaint little place, kind of dark, full of smoke,
Where they like to sing loud, and love a good joke;
The kind of a place where a lady could go
And feel safe and protected, by the men she would know.
There must be a place where old pilots go,
When their paining is finished, and their airspeed gets low.
Where the whiskey is old, and the women are young,
And songs about flying and dying are sung.
Where you'd see all the fellows who'd flown west before,
And they'd call out your name as you came through the door.
Who would buy you a drink, if your thirst should be bad,
And relate to the others, "He was quite a good lad!"
And then through the mist, you'd spot an old guy,
You had not seen in years, though he taught you to fly.
He'd nod his old head, and grin ear to ear;
And say, "Welcome, my son, I'm pleased that you're here."
"For this is the place where true flyers come,"
"When their journey is over, and the war has been won."
"They've come here at last to be safe and alone"
"From the government clerks and the management drones,"
"Politicians and lawyers, the Feds and the noise,"
"Where all hours are happy, and these good ole boys"
"Can relax with a cool one, and a well deserved rest;"
"This is heaven, my son......You've passed your last test!"
WHY AIRPLANES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
- AIRPLANES are predictable.
- If you respect an AIRPLANE it will be good to you.
- AIRPLANES don't have to battle PMS.
- AIRPLANE skin doesn't wrinkle as badly.
- An AIRPLANE won't criticize your performance.
- An AIRPLANE doesn't care where you were last night.
- AIRPLANES don't cost as much money.
- AIRPLANES don't get pregnant.
- AIRPLANES are faster than most women.
- AIRPLANES don't take forever to warm up.
- AIRPLANES don't spend hours in front of a mirror.
- AIRPLANES like to do it inverted.
- AIRPLANES won't keep you waiting.
- AIRPLANES won't insist you shower before entering it.
- AIRPLANES don't cry when you break up with them.
- AIRPLANES don't talk back.
- AIRPLANES don't get headaches.
- AIRPLANES don't take half of everything.
- AIRPLANES never stand you up.
- It's easier to get "trim" in an AIRPLANE.
- Eventually, every AIRPLANE goes down.
- An AIRPLANE is cheaper to maintain.
- You can't get diseases from an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES don't care if you fart.
- AIRPLANES have better struts.
- You can keep an AIRPLANE from stalling.
- AIRPLANES can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
- You can approach an AIRPLANE from the REAR.
- You can proudly show your AIRPLANE inside and out.
- An AIRPLANE won't slap you for being a "bush pilot".
- An AIRPLANE doesn't ask you to put on a raincoat before entry.
- You can easily leave an AIRPLANE before sunrise.
- AIRPLANE exhaust fumes smell better.
- AIRPLANES lose weight faster.
- You don't always have to "hand prop" an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES don't care if you fall asleep while in them.
- AIRPLANES don't care if you enter thru the back door.
- An AIRPLANE does not get mad if you "touch and go".
- An AIRPLANE will not get mad if you ride someone else's airplane.
- An AIRPLANE's cockpit is cleaner.
- You can calculate the peak performance of an AIRPLANE.
- An AIRPLANE is easy to roll over.
- You can still ride a fifty year old AIRPLANE.
- Up to five people can ride in an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES last longer.
- AIRPLANE's don't need as much lubrication.
- AIRPLANE's don't droop after ten years.
- AIRPLANES are easy to love.
- You don't have to sweet-talk an AIRPLANE.
- You can always tell when an AIRPLANE is going to give out.
- An AIRPLANE moves when you tell it to.
- AIRPLANES give a better ride for the money.
- An AIRPLANE goes anywhere you direct it to.
- Wide body AIRPLANES are more attractive.
- An AIRPLANE will kill you quick...a woman takes her time.
- An AIRPLANE takes less time to turn around.
- An AIRPLANE does not object to a preflight inspection.
- AIRPLANES don't make you "pull-out" to eject.
- You can change the looks of an AIRPLANE.
- AIRPLANES come with manuals.
- AIRPLANES can handle thrust better.
- A 747 can keep you up for 14 hours.
- You can adjust an AIRPLANE's attitude easily.
- Women have more drag than lift.
- An AIRPLANE's payload can be calculated.
- AIRPLANES have strict weight and balance limits.
- AIRPLANES have ash trays and tray tables.
- When you put fuel into an AIRPLANE, it does not spit it out.
- Sometimes you can ride AIRPLANES for free
- It's easier to understand what an AIRPLANE needs.
Some Reasons Airplanes Are of Greater Benefit to Men than Women Are
---Airplanes will kill you quickly, women take their time
---You are expected to preflight an airplane
---There are no monthly operational limitations on aircraft
---Airplanes can be turned on by the click of a switch
---You are more likely to miss an airplane
---Airplanes are used to touch and go procedures
---The POH tells you how to get the best an airplane can offer
---Airplanes have defined weight and balance limitations
---Airplanes don’t notice how many other airplanes you have flown
---Airplanes don’t have in-laws
---Airplanes and pilots arrive at the same time
---Airplanes don’t care if you admire other airplanes
---Airplanes don’t mind if you look at airplane magazines
---Airplanes expect to be tied down
---Airplanes don’t make snide remarks about your piloting skills
---Airplanes don’t whine unless there is a serious problem
---It is a bad indication when either women and airplanes go quiet
Rendezvous with a Dream
(dedicated to R. J. Cook, the wind beneath my wings)
It sits there
Sparkling and gleaming in the summer sun,
Giving off flashes of blinding light,
The chariot of my dream
For my dream
To my dream,
Outlined against the azure of its natural environment,
Appearing in motion even in immobility,
Straining at its bonds
Exuding the power
Excitement
Freedom
Joy
Of a dream about to be realized,
And it becomes a living thing to me.
Meeting this new love,
My fingers and palms long to touch and stroke it,
Caress its hardness, warm from the summer sun,
Trace its long, lean flanks
I walk around it
Shyly searching every surface, crack, crevice and opening
Hesitantly touching, probing, flexing, lifting, inserting
Until it is as familiar to me as a lover's body.
Open the door
Feel its heat blast my face and body
Inhale its sensuous aroma
Leather and metal
Fuel and oil
Sweat
As intoxicating as the scent of any lover.
Settle myself
And am tightly embraced
By belts and straps
As if by a lover's arms.
My fingers reach out
To stroke and explore its face
Probing
Eyes noting every nuance of
Temperament
Mood
Health
Willingness
Readiness
To
GO!
I warn the world I am about to release my love
And then
Hear the deep rumbling in its throat
As it springs to life
Under the caress of my hands.
Feel its power build
Straining for release
Not yet, oh, not quite yet, my love
We must await the permission of lesser beings
To begin our journey to joy.
Are you as eager to teach me as I am to learn?
I am sorry, my new love, that our first meeting
Must be chaperoned,
But I am not to be trusted alone with you yet.
Soon, love. soon!
Moving!
Feeling your power begin to vibrate
my very being.
I attempt to guide you
To the point of assignation
Hesitantly, at first
Then with increasing confidence.
You respond to my touch!
We pause at the brink,
Still not too late to turn back,
Still shy, embarrassed by my inexperience
Ineptness
Ignorance
I touch you tentatively
In the foreplay of run up
And you respond with such power
Such assurance
Such will to proceed
That my breath is taken from me
And chills trace my inner and outer selves,.
And I am committed to you.
Eager now
All hesitancy vanished
Touching you firmly, surely
Guiding with a light hand
You gain speed and power
Taking me swiftly
To the climax of
Lift off!!!
And my soul explodes
With the power
The beauty
The splendor
The awe of it.
So much greater
Than I ever dared dream!
You reveal to me
The world as man should see it
Not groveling on it
But soaring above it
Like a god.
This is the natural state of man!
This is the lost Garden of Eden!
And you have brought me home, my love.
But you are a capricious,
Temperamental
Sensitive
Jealous
Lover.
You do not let my attention wander from you
For a millisecond.
You demand respect
And unequivocal obedience to your rules.
I must become your slave
Anticipating your every whim
Need
Desire
And meeting it
Quickly
Surely
Expertly
Or you will reject me
And lead us both
To our doom.
But you are also a generous lover,
Striving to fulfill my every request
Taking me places I have never been
To heights I have never before attained
Providing me sensations never before experienced.
Again, again, and yet again
Your power, your responsiveness,
Your eagerness to please me
Bring ever intensifying thrills
To body, mind and soul
Until my whole being pulses
In perfect synchronization with yours.
We dance the love dance in the sky
My request and your reply
Your demand and my response
If I push you away, we plummet from the peak,
But if I pull you to me, we climb to new heights.
We play in a world with its own rules,
Rules that will lead to our annihilation
Should we forget or ignore them.
But that eventuality
Only adds zest and excitement
as we dance across the heavens
Searching for round rainbows and finding
Ecstasy!
And then,
Far, far too soon
The world intrudes
into our blue and white paradise
and the soulless chaperone
demands we return to earth
to be bound and chained again,
not knowing, as chaperones frequently do not
that the lovers plan one last ultimate thrill
before parting.
I wheedle, beg and plead
The chaperone acquiesces
And we are allowed one last moment
Of supreme rapture.
And as we cross the threshold
We hang...
Making the moment last . last . last.
Until a cry is torn from my throat
In the climax of
Touchdown!
Spent, knees shaking, spine weak,
Exhausted from the release of tension and emotion,
yet feeling powerful and confident
Contented
Peaceful
Satiated
Euphoric
Totally, fully, completely
Alive!!!
Body and mind in a relaxed humming
As we grudgingly follow the ramp
Back to the world
To the chains
To the other reality.
Me unobtrusively petting you in gratitude
You humming assurance to me of other rendezvous
as we near the end of
A dream realized.
So hard to leave you, my new love.
No part of me wants to return to the world of the earth-bound.
I walk away slowly, reluctantly
Stopping frequently to look back at you
In gratitude, awe, and wonder
Of what I have just experienced with you
And I raise my hand
In a salute to you
And to all of our tomorrows.
Marsha
August 10, 1999
PRE-WRIGHT BROTHERS RULES OF THE AIR
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you
pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep
pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there
than up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used
to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch
the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided
with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great'
landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough
to make all of them yourself.
10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full
power to taxi to the ramp.
11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to
the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability
of survival and vice versa.
12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't
get to five minutes earlier.
13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking
about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction.
Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to
hide out in clouds.
14. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal
to the number of take offs you've made.
15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing.
Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience.
The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the
bag of luck.
17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels
them.
18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going
round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from
the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should
be.
19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going
hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per
hour, the ground has yet to lose.
20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgment.
21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward
as much as possible.
22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law.
And it's not subject to repeal.
24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude
above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
Email from Hank
Paul Harvey on his 82nd Birthday
PH>We tried so hard to make things better for our kids
that we made them worse.
Gene says:
Can't complain too much about my kids. Oldest is PhD. from Yale
who is now a top computer and mathematician consultant for Northrop-Grumman.
Youngest has masters in art but is doing computer controlled
light shows in Seattle. Granddaughter soon to graduate from UCSD
with major in mathematics and computer science. She has been
a high nationally ranked dressage horseback rider since she was
13.
PH>For my grandchildren, I'd like better. I'd really like
for them to know
about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover
meat loaf sandwiches.
For first ten years of my life I did not get shoes unless there
was snow on the ground.
PH>I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated,
and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
My name was a problem from the beginning. But I later learned
that your name does not determine what you can be. I have fought
many windmills and still have a couple more that need to be tilted.
PH>I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn
and wash the car.
Did that and had to carry a bucket of coal from the barn as well
during the winter. Caught the chicken we would have for dinner.
Fed the pigs the slop we had left over from dinner.
PH>And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when
you are sixteen.
Well I did get a 1941 Ford convertible just three weeks before
I was called into the military for WWII.
PH>It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies
born and your old dog put to sleep.
Never had a dog until after the war.
PH>I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you
believe in.
I had so many fights that I can't remember any one as being worse
or better than another. During the war visited and met twins
I had fought with over a girl named Emma Jean Reed. She later
moved to Trenton. Stopped there in 1985 while flying back from
Oshkosh but couldn't locate her.
PH>I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother.
Shared a large feather bed with a first cousin. Had a thunder mug
underneath. One coal burning stove in the house besides the kitchen
stove. Took my bath in the laundry tub.
PH>And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the
middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the
covers with you, let him.
Halloween we pushed over one of the schools chick sales. (sp)
I took a table knife and stuck it into his side when he made
my life miserable. The blade bent but I knew I was capable and
never did such a thing again.
PH>When you want to see a movie and your little brother
wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him.
Cousin and I were living with Dad's parents. Got fifteen cents
a week for doing chores, dishes, making beds etc. Got five cents
for candy and the dime for going to Friday night movies down
town. Used to walk the square around the courthouse and collect
cigarette butt. Later on bought Bull Durham tobacco so we could
roll our own. Got caught when grandma did laundry on Friday instead
of Monday. Haven't smoked since. Buried all my smoking friends...all
gone and don't befriend or teach smokers.
PH>I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends
and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
After the show we would walk home most of the way. We ran by
the old houses that had lights in the back.
PH>On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope
you don't ask your driver >to drop you two blocks away so
you won't be seen riding with someone as un-cool as your Mom.
Remember when Grandpa took the starter out of the new Model-T
because Grandma was taking it driving. She couldn't crank the
old one.
I used to follow him around as he made repairs on doors and windows. Never dreamed how much I would remember when I needed in while working on my house built in 1910. Finally replaced them with double glazed vinyl windows.
PH>If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
We made slingshots all the time. Ruined all the kitchen knives.
We had a club house in a nearby pig-sty. On the weekends all
the clubs would go to the junkyard and have 'wars' by hiding
in old cars and shooting mud/clay balls at each other while hiding
in the cars. They made quite a sound. and stuck where they hit.
We also made rubber guns using box wood and clothes pins. Bows
and arrows were out every spring made from dogwood.
PH>I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
Cousin and I dug the garden every spring. Remember pretending
we were rabbits. Ate all the centers out of grandma's cabbage
plants. Read Sunday comics first.
PH>When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn
to add and subtract in your head. Learned to do that when I took up bowling. Became math teacher
to overcome my weaknesses.
PH>I hope you get teased by your friends when you have
your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your
mother that you learn what Ivory soap tastes like.
Never lived with parents much. Lived with relatives mostly. Grandma
had a set of switches for every day of the week. Largest one
for Sundays. When we got caught misbehaving we had to go into
the orchard and get a matching switch for the day.
PH>May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand
on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
Remember using sleds down the roads when snow was too deep for cars. The local pond about once every three years would freeze enough to be used for sliding or skating for those who had skates. Uncle made a toboggan and twelve of us rode on it at one time. Remember one year we had milk delivered. By the time we got up in the morning the frozen cream was three inches high above the bottle with the cardboard cap on top. Ice cream!
PH>I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you
don't like it.
Mother's boyfriend was Al Capone of Kansas City. After he got
out of Leavenworth Prison the started speakeasy in Los Angeles
but had to get away to avoid Bugsey Seigal's gang. Opened a bar
after prohibition ended in Marin County. As a teenager I had
to swamp the bar in the morning. Can't drink beer to this day.
Had four step-fathers and four step-mothers before it became popular. Went to fifteen different schools by the fourth grade. Stopped making friends because of the pain I felt leaving them.
Have kept one wife for 56 years and counting...a childhood
after effect.
PH>And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you
realize he is not your friend.
Not smoking helped me avoid all this before it became popular.
PH>I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandpa
and go fishing with your Uncle.
Had a 14' skiff given to me about 1938. Rowed over most of S.F.
Bay as far as Alcatraz and Angel Island for three years. Saved
my money and bought a 3-1/2 horse outboard and went everywhere
for a couple of summers...slowly.
PH>May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the
holidays. I hope your >mother punishes you when you throw
a baseball through your neighbor's window
Went to one funeral as a child, body was in the living room for
several days before the burial. Didn't care much for the process.
And another after the war of an old friend because my Mother
thought I should.
PH>and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time
when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
As I traveled around the world during WWII, I sent her small horses, since she collected horses for display. I now have a
8" brass/silver horse I bought in Egypt for her that works
as a doorstop to my kitchen door. That and a few plants of hers
is all that remains.
PH> These things I wish for you tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
And, as I look and think back, I have had a good life. I was
a good school teacher in a system that cared little for children.
I have been fortunate in good health, family, and finally a career
in flying that has given wings to my thoughts and lifelong desire
to be of help where I can be of the most help.
Hank, thanks for triggering this,
Gene
About Flying
The only three things a wingman should ever say are:
1. Two's up.
2. Lead, you're on fire.
3. I'll take the fat chick.
In a multi-place aircraft, there are only three things the copilot should ever say:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the fat chick.
As a new copilot on American Airlines, I was told to say these three things,
and otherwise keep my mouth shut and not touch anything:
1. Clear on the right.
2. Outer (marker) on the double (indicator)
3. I'll eat the chicken. (Crew meals consisted of one steak and one chicken to
avoid possible food poisoning of the cockpit crew).
About Fighter Pilots
1. As an aviator in flight you can do anything you want... As long as it's
right... And we'll let you know if it's right after you get down.
2. You can't fly forever without getting killed.
3. As a fighter pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them
will: a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your
last flight in a fighter. b. One day you will walk out to the airplane not
knowing that it is your last flight in a fighter.
4. Success is being able to walk to your F.E.B.
5. There are Rules and there are Laws. The rules are made by men who think
that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. The Laws (of Physics)
were made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes should, suspend the Rules
but you can never suspend the Laws.
6. More about Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the
talent to execute it. b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless
performance. (e.g., If you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)
7. The fighter pilot is the highest form of life on earth.
8. The ideal fighter pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.
9. About check rides: a. The only real objective of a check ride is to complete it and get the bastard out of your airplane. b. It has never occurred to any flight examiner that the examinee couldn't care less what the examiner's opinion of his flying ability really is.
10. The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
11. The job of the Wing Commander is to worry incessantly that his career depends solely on the abilities of his aviators to fly their airplanes without mishap and that their only minuscule contribution to the effort is to bet their lives on it.
12. Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity of their feelings that the pilot's day is over I know of no such expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
13. It is absolutely imperative that the fighter pilot be unpredictable. Rebelliousness is very predictable. In the end, conforming almost all the time is the best way to be unpredictable.
14. He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that demands one iota more is a fool.
15. If you're gonna fly low, do not fly slow!
16. It is solely the pilot's responsibility to never let any other thing touch his aircraft.
17. If you can learn how to fly as a Lt. and not forget how to fly by the time you're a Lt.Col you will have lived a happy life.
18. About night flying: a. Remember that the airplane doesn't know that it's
dark.
b. On a clear, moonless night, never fly between the tanker's lights.
c. There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.
d. If you're going to night fly, it might as well be in the weather so you
can double count your exposure to both hazards.
e. Night formation is really an endless series of near misses in equilibrium
with each other.
f. You would have to pay a lot of money at a lot of amusement parks and
perhaps add a few drugs, to get the same blend of psychedelic sensations as a
single engine night weather flight on the wing.
19. One of the most important skills that a pilot must develop is the skill to ignore those things that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's attention.
20. At the end of the day, the controllers, ops supervisors, maintenance guys, weather guessers, and birds; they're all trying to kill you and your job is to not let them!
21. The concept of "controlling" airspace with radar is just a form of FAA sarcasm directed at fighter pilots to see if they're gullible enough to swallow it.
Or to put it another way, when's the last time the FAA ever shot anyone down?
22. Remember that the radio is only an electronic suggestion box for the pilot. Sometimes the only way to clear up a problem is to turn it off.
23. It is a tacit, yet profound admission of the pre-eminence of flying in the hierarchy of the human spirit, that those who seek to control aviators via threats always threaten to take one's wings and not one's life.
24. Remember when flying low and inverted that the rudder still works the same old way but hopefully your IP never taught you "pull stick back, plane go up".
25. Mastering the prohibited maneuvers in the dash-1 is one of the best forms of aviation life insurance you can get.
26. A tactic done twice is a procedure. (Refer to unpredictability discussion above)
27. The aircraft G-limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular airplane. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no G-limits.
28. One of the beautiful things about a single piloted aircraft is the quality of the social experience.
29. If a mother has the slightest suspicion that her infant might grow up to be a pilot, she had better teach him to put things back where he got them.
30. The ultimate responsibility of the pilot is to fulfill the dreams of the countless millions of earthbound ancestors who could only stare skyward and wish.
31. Any flight over water in a single engine fighter will absolutely guarantee abnormal engine noises and vibrations.
Thoughts
--Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Seems to be
little reason to take your flying skills seriously, you’ll lose your medical
anyway.
--Flying skill is sexually transmitted.
--Pilots have two emotions: High and Fast. If the pilot seems disinterested show
him a more powerful aircraft.
--Give a person a plane and you change him forever. Teach the person to fly you
become immortal.
--Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
--Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
--All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
--No pilot ever dies wishing he had spent more time on the ground.
--Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to
realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. Too bad, that there
is not a condom design to protect us from the delayed effect of politics.
--No one is all bad, one of the most disliked individuals I have ever met is
an excellent pilot.
Charles Schultz Philosophy
You don't actually have to take the quiz. Just read the email straight
through, and you'll get the point (an awesome one) that it is trying to make!
Take this quiz:
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no
second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates! Are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.
6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.
Easier?
The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most
credentials, the most money, or the most awards.
They are the ones who care. Pass this on to those people who have made a
difference in your life.
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow
in Australia."
Charles Schultz!
Will Rogers
Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was
probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the
following quotes----
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your
pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones who learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence.
9. Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
10. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to
make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
12. AND FINALLY: After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good
he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
AND, ABOUT
GROWING OLDER...........
First, Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying
about your age and start bragging about it.
Second, The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Third , Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to
know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.
Fourth, When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
Fifth, You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Sixth, I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
Seventh, One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such
a nice change from being young.
Eighth, One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
Ninth, Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Tenth, Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
And finally, If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to
laugh at when you are old.
SHORT AND SWEET......
Test your IQ with the question below:
There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of
brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the
purchase is done.
Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should
he express himself?
Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer...
Don't peek" read next line
backwards.......................................................
simple so, ask and mouth his open to has just He
If you got this wrong please - do not pass go, do not breed, just go dig a hole
and hide.
This is odd !
One of the strangest things I have ever encountered.
Try this....while sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in
the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it.
This WILL drive you crazy.
Acrobatics
I'm a lucky guy. For my b-day this year, my wife bought me an hour of
introductory acrobatic time at a semi-local FBO (Attitude Aviation, Livermore,
CA). I decided to go up in their Super Decathlon. So, yesterday, I took the
opportunity to experience several "firsts". My first tail wheel
experience, first tandem seating experience, first time flying anything with a
stick vs. yoke, first time flying with a constant speed prop, first time
strapping on a parachute. Basically, my first time flying anything but a
C-172/152 and doing more than a steep turn. Hey, at least it was still a high
wing...I haven't crossed over...yet :-)
Of course I had to fly from my home airport instead of drive. It was a great
morning to fly and enjoy the views of the delta area and the back side of Mt.
Diablo. It had been about a month since I'd flown so felt great
getting back in the air. I even pulled off a decent landing on the short runway
at LVK. First time I'd been to LVK despite having flown over it several times.
I had a chance to get acquainted with the Decathlon for about 20 minutes before
my instructor returned from his previous lesson. I looked over the POH, sat in
the plane (without making airplane noises) and kept thinking
"wow, this different...really different". Peter, my instructor showed
up and we got started with some more aircraft orientation, pre-flight
procedures, parachute familiarization, bail out procedure, etc.
Now there's
something to think about. If I hear the words "BAIL OUT BAIL OUT BAIL
OUT", I need to remove my headset, release the 5-point seatbelt harness
assembly, pull the door release pin, then fall out of the airplane
head-first...then, of course, find the release handle on the parachute
(evidently, it can come out of it's velcro-pocket and be hiding underneath and
behind your left arm...fortunately, I'm learning this with both feet firmly
planted on ground instead of while free-falling). It all sounds simple enough
but I can imagine how difficult it must be in the panic of a live bail out
scenario, especially if you're spinning or somehow being tossed about in the
airplane.
Ok, so after we get our parachutes on, it's time to climb in the airplane. And I
thought it was difficult without the parachute. I get to start up and taxi out.
For those students who are being challenged to keep a tricycle
gear plane on the yellow line, that's absolutely nothing compared to taxiing in
a tail wheel plane. Much more of a challenge. Fortunately, it's about 100 yards
to the run up area.
My instructor handles the takeoff which is interesting since your view of the
world changes dramatically when the tail wheel comes off the ground. Once we're
about 200 ft. AGL, he gives me the airplane and I manage an
uncoordinated right crosswind departure. Man, it's tough keeping the ball in the
cage. Oh, ya, another first, seeing a turn coordinator for regular and inverted
flight. As we climb out toward Mt. Diablo, I get to run through some S-turns and basic coordination drills. After 5 minutes or so, I
start to figure out that it takes lots of rudder to keep things coordinated.
Once we're at 7000 MSL in the practice area, we line up on a ridge below us and
it's time for loops. My instructor demonstrates the first one. Lower the nose, I
read off airspeed and when we hit 130, hard pull up (and I learn what 4 Gs feels
like for the first time), float over the top (look left and right, verify wings
are level...but, wait a minute, everything is upside down :-) ), look up through
the top window, pickup up the ridge line on the
ground, and recover. Very cool. Way better than any roller coaster I've been on.
Now, it's my turn. While I manage to keep the wings level, I didn't pull up hard
enough (hit just under 3 Gs on the pull up) and we were
a bit slow over the top...but hey, I did my first loop. I do a couple more and
manage to get better with each one.
Next up, aileron rolls. Pitch up 30 degrees, neutralize the stick, full
deflection (to the left in this case), wings level, neutralize ailerons, recover
from approx. 30 degrees nose down pitch attitude. Sounds simple enough, now it's
my turn. I pick a point on the horizon, imagine a vertical line up through it,
pitch up, think I neutralize the stick (I didn't, had some back pressure), full
left deflection, and the nose traces a big circle around my point on the
horizon. I get to try a few more and when I really neutralize the stick prior to
full left deflection, I manage pretty decent rolls. It's very cool to see the
world spin around in front of you.
Next up, my personal favorite for this ride...spins. This is the one thing I
most wanted to experience because, during the PPL training, you get the head
knowledge on how to recover from a spin but are not required to
physically recover from a spin. My instructor demonstrates the first spin. Slow
to 55 MPH, full left rudder and bam, the plane rolls over to the left, points
down and I'm watching the world spin around while pointed at the
ground. After 2.5 revolutions, full right rudder, neutral stick, revolution
stops, neutral rudder (this is the part I'll forget when I get to do them),
slight forward stick, then recover from the dive. Wow, that was *very* cool. Now
it's my turn. I forget to neutralize the stick when we enter the spin and as a
result, we get into an accelerated spin. When I go to recover, I forget to
release full right rudder (fortunately, we didn't start a spin to the right). By
now, I'm thinking this is great experience but it sure is easy to mess up when
recovering from a spin. I do one more and it's about the same as my first one
except my instructor has to assist in the recovery a bit more than the first
one. Evidently, I like accelerated spins more than the garden variety :-) By
now, my brain is on serious overload and I'm feeling ever so slightly queasy.
Not like I'm going to hurl any minute or anything but a bit light headed and
very slight upset stomach. I'm thinking it's about time to call it quits...but
not after some hammer heads.
My instructor demonstrates a nice hammerhead. Pitch down, airspeed to 130, pull
up to the vertical, look left and right, full left rudder when the string on the
strut begins to luff, recover after you're pointing straight
down. My turn. I pitched up beyond vertical and it felt more like a loop that we
fell out of at the top than anything else. I can imagine what it must have
looked like from outside the airplane.
By now, the upset stomach and light headed feeling are a little stronger so I
decide to call it a day. We head back to LVK and my instructor handles the
landing. Of course, since I'm up front, I get to taxi back to parking. And, once again, I'm thinking that taxiing in a tricycle gear plane is a piece
of cake compared to this. I mange to keep it pretty much on the yellow line
though.
We debrief and I learn that many first time acrobatic rides only last .3 or .4
hours. We managed 1.1. My instructor thanks me for calling it early once I felt
like I did. He tells me that I'd most likely acclimate and that
it's not uncommon to get similar feelings of nausea when you do acrobatics for
the first time.
Overall, this was a great experience. I can see why folks get hooked on acro. If
I lived closer to LVK, I could see myself getting checked out in some of their
planes and doing this on a regular basis. It's a ton of fun
and I'd highly recommend anyone to find an acro instructor and, at a minimum, go
through some spin training. It was a great experience and I'd do it again in a
heartbeat.
Jack
Sayings of Pilots
Pilots
The only three things a wingman should ever say are:
1. Two's up.
2. Lead, you're on fire.
3. I'll take the fat chick.
In a multi-place aircraft, there are only three things the copilot should ever
say:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I'll buy the first round.
3. I'll take the fat chick.
As a new copilot I was told to say three things, and otherwise keep my mouth
shut and not touch anything:
1. Clear on the right.
2. Outer (marker) on the double (indicator)
3. I'll eat the chicken.
About Pilots:
1. As an aviator in flight you can do anything you want... As long as it's
right... And we'll let you know if it's right after you get down.
2. You can't fly forever without getting killed.
3. As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will be:
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight
in an airplane.
b. One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is your last
flight in an airplane.
4. Any flight over water in a single engine airplane will absolutely guarantee
abnormal engine noises and vibrations.
5. There are Rules and there are Laws.
Men who think that they know better how to fly your airplane than you make the
rules.
The Great One made the Laws of Physics. You can, and sometimes should, suspend
the Rules but you can never suspend the Laws.
6. More about Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the
talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance. (e.g., If you
fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)
7. The pilot is the highest form of life on earth.
8. The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.
9. About check rides:
a. The only real objective of a check ride is to complete it and get the bastard
out of your airplane.
b. It has never occurred to any flight examiner that the examinee couldn't care
less what the examiner's opinion of his flying ability really is.
10. The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.
11 The job of the Wing Commander is to worry incessantly that his career depends
solely on the abilities of his aviators to fly their airplane without mishap and
that their only minuscule contribution to the effort is to bet their lives on
it.
12. Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot is
over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the intensity
of their feelings that the pilot's day is over I know of no such expert who has
volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.
13. It is absolutely imperative that the pilot be unpredictable. Rebelliousness
is very predictable. In the end, conforming almost all the time is the best way
to be unpredictable.
14. He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he that
demands one iota more is a fool.
15. If you're gonna fly low, do not fly slow! ASW pilots know this only too
well. (Amen)
16. It is solely the pilot's responsibility to never let any other thing touch
his aircraft.
17. If you can learn how to fly as a 2nd Lt. and not forget how to fly by the
time you're a Maj. you will have lived a happy life.
18. About night flying:
a. Remember that the airplane doesn't know that it's dark.
b. On a clear, moonless night, never fly between the tanker's lights.
c. There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.
d. If you're going to night fly, it might as well be in the weather so you can
double count your exposure to both hazards.
e. Night formation is really an endless series of near misses in equilibrium
with each other.
f. You would have to pay a lot of money at a lot of amusement parks and perhaps
add a few drugs, to get the same blend of psychedelic sensations as a single
engine night weather flight.
19. One of the most important skills that a pilot must develop is the skill to
ignore those things that were designed by non-pilots to get the pilot's
attention.
20. At the end of the day, the controllers, ops supervisors, maintenance guys,
weather guessers, and birds; they're all trying to kill you and your job is to
not let them!
21. The concept of "controlling" airspace with radar is just a form of
FAA sarcasm directed at pilots to see if they're gullible enough to swallow it.
Or to put it another way, when's the last time the FAA ever shot anyone down?
22. Remember that the radio is only an electronic suggestion box for the pilot.
Sometimes the only way to clear up a problem is to turn it off.
23. It is a tacit, yet profound admission of the preeminence of flying in the
hierarchy of the human spirit, that those who seek to control aviators via
threats always threaten to take one's wings and not one's life.
24. Remember when flying low and inverted that the rudder still works the same
old way but hopefully your IP never taught you "pull stick back, plane go
up".
25. Mastering the prohibited maneuvers in the Natops Manual is one of the best
forms of aviation life insurance you can get.
26. A tactic done twice is a procedure. (Refer to unpredictability discussion
above)
27. The aircraft G-limits are only there in case there is another flight by that
particular airplane. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no
G-limits.
28. One of the beautiful things about a single piloted aircraft is the quality
of the social experience.
29. If a mother has the slightest suspicion that her infant might grow up to be
a pilot, she had better teach him to put things back where he got them
30. The ultimate responsibility of the pilot is to fulfill the dreams of the
countless millions of earthbound ancestors who could only stare skyward...and
wish.
Old Pilots
Old pilots are 15 years or more old than their aircraft. Old planes are
15 years or more older than their pilots
There are graveyards for old aircraft but none such for old pilots.
There is little similarity between the aging of aircraft and pilots. While the aircraft gets a ‘good as new’ annual every year the pilot’s medical has no such warranty.
The joys of flying and continuous learning separates the young from the old best defined as those who do not fly.
The constant regret for all that fly is that they did not start sooner. In fact, I told such to a 15-year old and his mother just the other day. Only the mother laughed.
The lines of distinction of your flying life may be engraved on our brows, but they are not written on the pilot’s heart or mind.
Flying, like everything else must be started early to make a success of it.
Regardless of age, every flying venture is filled with the emotions and experience acquired for each age period.
Flying is like climbing a mountain. You climb over the nine different cloud
layers of knowledge. The higher you fly the more tired and hypoxic you become,
but your pleasures become more extensive.
Flying when old is not for sissies.
Flying when old is a question of mind over matter. If you fly, it doesn’t
matter.
Your flying life would be infinitely better if we could begin at eighty and
fly until the y in eighty fell off and you reached eight.
By the time you have reached the pinnacle of your flying life, you’ve had it.
Becoming a truly old pilot requires you to start young and survive not only your own mistakes but also those made by many others.
The old pilot has at every age experienced over and over the emotions, joys, failures and satisfactions of the beginning pilot.
Contrary to popular opinion, a life of flying may age you but will not make you old. Instead, like wine you become more complex.
As you age the hills of earth become steeper, while flying you never feel the difference.
Flying increases the time spread between solo and so long.
Good news is you won’t know senility when you reach it but you lose your
medical.
As you age you relish every flight all the more. The views are the same but
easy too relish again.
I have never flown to an airport a second time without having instant recall
of the previous visit.
You are not getting too old to fly until it makes you tired. I’m not there
yet.
I started flying when in my forties, been playing catch up ever since.
How old does one have to be not to enjoy flying? I should live so long.
Pilots never accept being over the hill because their mountain still goes up.
A pilot is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
Pilots have an understandable dislike of time. Our flying time is finite. :
What can/should we do about those who would take away our flying life.
Pilots, like good wine, never turn to vinegar while improving with age.
Pilots always look younger regardless of their age.
The beauty of old aircraft lies in their lack of age discrimination toward pilots.
The advantage of being a pilot is that you can mature without growing old.
Pilots do not go gentle into that good night. Pilots will burn and rage at close of day. They rage and rage against the dying of the light.
New pilots should hold back major achievement early on. Reserve achievements to give greater value to your old age.
The memory of a pilot is a constant source of enjoyment when shared with
others.
Pilots know that age is taking its toll when you can’t name checkpoints of
yore.
I never had respect as a young pilot because I did not fly young. Starting late caused any respect acquired to occur too late to be of interest or value.
Without success, I tried out the dirty old pilot stereotype. Probably wouldn’t have done well as a dirty young pilot either.
Being an old pilot isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
I feel sorry for those pilots who knowingly allow the pleasures of their
bodies to limit their flying futures.
One great flying aspect of aging pilots not available to young pilots is that of
Not Going.
The three life periods of a pilot are youth, middle age, and "your flying
hasn't changed a bit."
Assertiveness is a pilot personality thing that only improves with age.
Flying is akin to insurance. Older costs more.
A pilot is always older than he looks.
The memory of past airports always remains with a pilot.
The active pilot will not age until he stops flying.
Inside of every seventy-year-old pilot are memories that keep him at thirty-five inside.
It’s said that age only matters when one is aging. As a pilot I know that
age need not affect flying ability.
To be a pilot one need not exercise, get up early, or be respectable but it
helps to do all three.
A pilot has no fear of the future so long as it includes flying.
The one thing most wrong with non-flyers is their failure to regret having
never learned to fly.
An old pilot is never disturbed by late night phone calls since they can be
invitations to go flying.
Time and tide may wait for no man but time surely slows down for those who
fly.
An old pilot can determine the precise point at which he is to be considered
aged. He lets another climb up to check the fuel and move the plane for
start-up.
An old pilot is one who is always thinking that his ache will feel as good as
ever tomorrow
In flying, as in other matters, the young are just beginners.
‘Tis said that the dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old
pilot to the young pilot.
Time in the logbook does not make you an old pilot. Pilots grow old only by
not flying again. Flights may fill the logbook lines but memories only die with
you.
You have reached the middle of your flying career when every new runway
reminds you of another runway.
A pilot is never out of ideas of where or when to fly. The
problem is to fit all the flying you want to do into the time available.
A flight instructor can always tell which part of industry is best by those
who decide to learn to fly.
The truly aged pilot counts not hours of flight time but number of medical
examiners outlived.
The three things most likely to improve with age are wine, cheese and pilots.
The most likely regret of any pilot is that he didn’t start flying sooner.
Once an old pilot gets past the fear of being held responsible, the fear is
accepted as a certainty to be ignored
Old pilots just have to take it easy, that’s all you have to do. No need to
change every conversation into one about flying. You’re the only one who is
passionately interested in your last flight. Others have problems of their
own.
The longer you fly the greater the certainty becomes that you are not young
enough to know everything.
The longer I fly the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and
that all bad landings I have made only verify my notions that my need for
improvement is always there.
As a pilot the day of your next birthday you’re going to wake up so
relieved that you still have your medical. You can go on through your flying
life one medical at a time knowing how much better flying is being old enough to
know better but still young enough to do it anyway
Your enduring success in flying will come after forty. Only rarely does
judgment arrive before then.
An old pilot doesn’t worry about getting old. I’m old already. Only young
people worry about getting old.
Being an old pilot is the only disease you don’t look to be cured of.
A pilot’s character never changes radically from youth to old age. What
happens is that flying brings out characteristics not obvious before.
Cherish all your happy flying moments; they make a memory cushion for old
age.
Getting older is like flying an airplane, if you don’t takeoff you’ll be
on the ground.
By the time you become a pilot, you have learned your hardest lessons. You
have discovered that only a few things are really important. Airspeed comes
immediately to mind.
Getting old is just a matter of practice. Pilots are too busy to practice
getting old.
Pilots never fully retire; they stop watching airplanes only when they can’t
see or hear.
About the time a pilot seems to think he knows enough to be safe he is faced
with a change in FARs or procedures. Flying doesn’t change, its everything
else that keeps us catching up.
Retirement of airline pilots at sixty is ridiculous. When I was seventy I
still had pimples.
My head has a crown of glory where gray hairs surround a bald spot. It’s
advantage is that it begets respect but never envy.
If gray hair is God’s graffiti, then my bald spot contains graffiti remover.
Old pilots are like delivered letters. Not of the past but new arrivals.
As a young pilot I relished freedom, and as an old pilot I teach order. The more orderly my flying the more free I am.
The most terrible non-flying event to ever occur to any pilot is loss of the
medical.
To a pilot in good health, age is an accumulative problem.
A pilot is the best of husbands a woman could have, being up and away so
much.
The good old days of flying arrive when the old are still flying.
The pilot is forever a student. Old pilot syndrome arrives when one has no
desire for more knowledge.
To become a "Grand Old Man of Flying’ is more than having gray hair
and facial lines of distinction. It satisfies the challenge of, "Not what
flying has done for you, but what have you done for flying?"
The longer you fly as an old young man the more you will fly as a young old
man.
Of all the stages of flying life only the word old has no absolute value.
He has the flying smoothness of a bumblebee
He has all the flying virtues I dislike and none of the flying vices I envy.
After a long life of flying, I keep looking for pilot obituaries I can enjoy.
I have reached the point in my flying life where lying about my age has been
replaced by bragging.
A subtle flying taunt is better than any criticism.
Flying skill is best displayed by how well waiting is avoided.
Those who do not fly never get to the top of the hill before going down hill.
The greatest advantage to being old is the absence of all the pressures of
being young.
The best pilot I have ever flown with had no other redeeming qualities and didn’t
know it.
Only by flying at sunset can you realize how splendid the day has been.
I feel so miserable without flying, it's almost like having you here.
He is a modest pilot, with much to be modest about.
The anxieties of youth are eventually replaced by the comfort of old age.
He has never been known to use an aeronautical word that might send a pilot to
the dictionary.
Thank you for sending me a picture of your airplane, I'll waste no time looking
at it.
He is not only unpleasant himself, he is the cause of unpleasantness in others.
He is simply a pilot who goes to an airport looking for an airplane accident.
As a pilot he has delusions of adequacy
There's nothing wrong with your flying that an accident won't expose
As an instructor pilot he can compress the most words into the smallest of
ideas.
He never opens his mouth without subtracting from the sum of aeronautical
knowledge.
He acquired some good procedures from his previous instructor, but by diligent
hard work, he overcame them.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
He is a bird in everything except flying.
Some pilots cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
As a pilot he has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
As a pilot he has a blind man’s view of level flight
He uses flying safety statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts ... for
support rather than wisdom.
When an instructor begins to think that his instructor was probably right, it's
usually because his present student is beginning to think that he's wrong.
Pilots should always laugh at trouble, otherwise you won’t be able to laugh
much when old.
Good flying decisions come from experience and most of it is learned by making bad decisions.
When talking with the FAA never miss an opportunity to shut up.
A Flying student will learn and remember better what he solves for himself when flying.
Flying experience has numerous advantages. Therein lies a problem for all pilots. When you get the experience you need, you are too old to use it. Go to:
Fame is the dream of young pilots that is not realized until becoming an old
pilot.
The government finds a way of increasingly punishing old pilots for crimes
not committed.
The older I become in my flying life the better it has become.
The only point in a pilots life where age seems to run backwards is when
flying.
A pilot never gives in to old age until he stops flying.
The young pilot has tears without grief; the old pilot has grief without tears.
No pilot is so old as to not accept the one more year of flying life given
when passing the medical.
A pilot ages like a plane flying through a storm. One bump at a time.
An old pilot keeps flying until fly turns to die.
A pilot has more years between youth and old age than any form of life. Go to:
Pilots do not accept age willingly. Pilots are never as old as others would
suggest.
The happiest pilot is one who thinks forward to flying again regardless of
age.
Old pilots have effect on younger pilots by showing what they can become. Go
to:
The secret of becoming an old pilot is to live with child like spirit at the
airport.
The secret of remaining a young pilot is to lie about your age. Go to:
While I was never a young pilot I was told you’ll see when you are old I am eighty and haven’t seen yet.
Pilot end up as they deserve. Old pilots have appropriate appearance,
friends, health and children.
You can be a young pilot without money but you cannot be an old pilot without
it.
The challenge of being a young and poor pilot will not meet the need of the
old and poor pilot.
For those who have lived from birth to death, it is better if it includes
flying.
A woman who flies is less dependent on her outsides than her insides.
After a pilot is eighty he can be fooled by calling him smart, but he can’t
be fooled by calling him pretty.
Do not count a pilot’s years until he stops counting his hours. Go to:
The love of flying is followed closely minds growing in knowledge and potential genius. Lindbergh anyone?
Life before the young pilot is like a range of mountains or deep valleys.
Which will it be?
The young pilot knows the FARs, but the old pilot knows the exceptions. Go
to:
The face of an old pilot is either his biography or logbook.
Being a old pilot does not shield you from love. But love, to a degree, will
shield you from age.
When a pilot is no longer excited by the first flight of spring, he is
getting old.
There is no big deal about being an old pilot. Pilots shine from inside and
look younger.
There is an amazing flying dawn to every early morning flight making better
of being of old age.
To age with dignity and courage goes with being a pilot.
Growing older as a pilot is not as upsetting as being perceived as an old
pilot is.
If you carry your childhood with you as a pilot, you will never grow older.
The older you get as a pilot, the greater you were as a pilot.
What an unhappy world this would be without young pilots---and what an empty world, without the old pilots to teach them.
A beginning pilot is only a theory; an old pilot is a creation. Go to:
As a pilot you don’t get to choose how you’re going to die. Or when. You can only plan how you’re going to live flying. Now.
If you wait to become a pilot, all that happens is that you get older.
Half of our flying lives are spent trying to find something to do with the time we have hurried through trying to save.
Old pilots count not months but moments and yet have time enough.
You have been warned about letting the flying hours slip by; but some of them are flying only because we let them slip.
I knew a pilot who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, food and flying. He was in
good health right up to the time he killed himself.
Flying does not change so much as we do.
Ground time is the thief of flying time you cannot erase.
Heard about the pilot who decided to live forever or die in the attempt?
Flying time does not become sacred to us until we have lived without it.
All the best flying of my life are somehow getting into the wrong end. If I could fly it again backwards I would.
Every pilot’s memory is supported by his logbook.
The length of a pilot’s flying life should be measured by the intensity of
the events than to the length.
A pilot is not old until he can’t get to the airport. When I get to the
airport I plan to fly by myself or with another, whichever.
Flying across the Class Bravo airspace keeps old pilot’s young---if they
make it.
An old man flying solo in an airplane is a good sign.
Getting old while flying is great.
The only difference between a pilot of forty and one of eighty is forty years
of experience.
I know some pilots who are better at age eighty than they have ever been
before, because a lot of their fear is gone.
Though an old man, I am but a young pilot.
Pilots, unlike many people don’t die at twenty-five and buried when they
are eighty.
If all the experience and judgment of men over eighty were taken out of
aviation, there wouldn’t be enough left to run it.
When asked how I feel about becoming an old pilot. I have the same question,
too. I’m learning as I go.
We live as pilots in flying deeds, not years; in thoughts, not figures on a
screen. We should count time by flying hours. A pilot most lives whom thinks
most, flies the highest and lands the best.
Old pilots live in solitude, which is painful in youth, but delicious in
flying maturity.
Young pilots are a gift of nature, but old pilots are a work of art.
As an old pilot, I may be an antique but like antique aircraft, antique
pilots have some value, too.
Pilots do not retire, they are retired by others.
There is nothing worse than being an aging young pilot.
You know, by the time you reach my age, you’ve made plenty of flying mistakes if you’ve flown your life properly.
Finally I like who I am. It took eighty years. I’m comfortable, I feel
freer to speak and act now. Growing older doesn’t matter to me nearly as much
as where I’ll be flying during that time.
The best age for being a pilot is the age you are now.
A pilot does not necessarily get better but different and older and that is
always a pleasant experience.
Survival as an old pilot is one of the most exquisite forms of torture ever
known to man.
The current FAA medical program is not so much a question of a pilot staying
healthy as it is of finding a sickness they like.
Old pilots come in all ages, colors, shapes and forms. God never makes junk.
Old age is an excellent time for outrage. Old pilots should say or do at
least one outrageous thing every week.
I’m beginning to realize that I am an old pilot. The line boy calls me
"Pop" instead of "Buddy."
I have begun to enjoy my liver spots and regard them as badges of flying
distinction---I’ve flown long hours to get them.
The older you get as a pilot, the older you want to get.
Maturity as a pilot arrives when the best weather option is one of
discretion.
When I grow up, I want to be an old pilot.
As a child, I decided to become a teacher to get even. As a pilot, I decided to become a flight instructor to get even.
Isn’t there an adage that the secret of eternal youth comes from being a pilot?
There is something romantic about being a pilot. Perhaps you are interesting
at every age as a pilot. There is nothing particularly interesting about being
an old pilot for that matter except money.
The trouble with aviation memorial reunions is that everybody, including
pilots, have become older.
The older you get as a pilot, the more important it is not to act your age.
The birthday resolution of every old pilot should be to change one bad flying habit every year, even if for the worse.
As an old pilot you should be pleased to note that you are now too old to die
young.
Old pilots have not the fate but the face deserved.
Anything new in the way an old pilot feels is most likely a symptom.
As an old pilot I very much avoid looking into a mirror for fear I may
recognize myself.
The more I become an older pilot, the more I distrust the idea that wisdom
comes with age.
Old age is a special problem for pilots who learned to fly young. They think
of themselves as nineteen.
No old pilot is never old enough to know better.
I’m all in favor of having the government help older pilots. I expect to be
old someday.
If you live long enough as a pilot, you’re revered---rather like an old
building.
One of the many pleasures of becoming an old pilot is in the things you give
up
Retirement as a line pilot must be wonderful. You can suck in your stomach
for only so long.
I have a rocker at home that I am saving for the day I feel as old a pilot as
I am.
As an old pilot, you have to give things up. I believe you get old because
you give things up.
A flight instructor never realizes that former students are no longer
students.
When old pilots speak it is because they see something which the younger do
not see.
I wish to put my old pilot flying record straight. I have reached old age and
have for some years past.
I never want to reach the flying age where I lose all my marvels while
flying.
Old pilots do not need to worry about temptation. The longer you fly it will
continue to avoid you.
The better older pilots do not get smarter. They lose their hair.
As an old pilot you are warned that you will lose your mind. The good news is
that you won’t know it.
The mind of an old pilot must be used to keep it in working order.
The great art of flying when old, relies in knowing how to do it wisely.
To be an old pilot now is to be a part of a large group. A venerated group because surviving in the past was extraordinary. The life expectancy when Lindbergh learned was 1000 hours. Now it approaches 100, thousand hours.
I am an old pilot, better looking now than when I was young. That is what
flying does to your face.
The pilot who is too old to learn was most likely always too old to learn.
An old pilot should never think any oldish thoughts. It’s oldish thoughts
that age a pilot.
An old pilot should never let a day go by in which he does not change at
least one old flying notion for a new one.
There would be far fewer old pilots if they didn’t persist in growing old.
If, as a young pilot, you don’t learn to laugh at your flying mistakes, you
won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.
Pilots should look forward to growing older, and wiser and more audacious.
Becoming an old pilot is a good and pleasant thing. You are gently offered the seat of your choice in most any aircraft, as a spectator.
My flying career wouldn’t have turned out the way it did if I hadn’t had
all the rules to rebel against.
You don’t need to be an old pilot in aviation to say of a world we lived
in: "That world is gone."
If you establish your eccentricities as a young pilot, others won’t think
you’re so crazy as an old pilot.
The greatest enemy of any old pilot is reality. Even with a slow and late
start I have fought it for over thirty-five years.
Old pilots should avoid the so-called health foods. They need all the
preservatives they can get.
If, as an old pilot, you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new
one about flying, your pulse has stopped.
Old pilots need old pilot friends to keep us growing old and new young pilot
friends to keep us young.
Every pilot is enthusiastic at times. One pilot has enthusiasm for thirty
minutes; another for thirty days, but it is the pilot who has it for over thirty
years who becomes an old pilot.
Given the choice, I would rather have people take away some years of my life than take away a moment of my flying.
Flying does strange things to us. Years of flying teach us patience, then the shorter our remaining time, the greater our ability to wait.
In flying there are early years that give rise to questions and later years
that give us the answers.
Once knew a pilot who was forced to live far beyond his years as a child. Now
he has reversed the order and intends to remain young indefinitely.
Happiness is an imaginary condition often attributed by those not flying to
those flying.
The only thing I regret about my life as a pilot is the length of it. If I
had to live my flying live again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.
The old pilot looks forward to a flying life of immaturity until death.
When old pilots yackety – yak about the flying past it is for me wasted
time. I would rather be flying now.
Sooner or later all pilots discover that the important moments in flying life
are not as advertised. The real value moments are banked in the memories. Go to:
Pilots who contemplate the earth’s beauty from above will find memories
that will endure for life.
As you get older as a pilot, you will find that the skills of value will
disentangle themselves from others and come to you as needed.
After you’re an older pilot, two things are possibly more important than
others: health and money.
In later flying life, as in earlier only a few influence the formation of our
pilot character. Instructors come to mind.
If a pilot is old, it is a sign that the pilot is a survivor. The guarantee
of pilot continuity is quality
Old pilots do not change themselves so much as they change the flying world.
The children of pilots are not carbon copies. That’s what grandchildren are
for.
A Reason to Fly
Thought you folks might enjoy reading this. I touched on it in another
thread. It's in the introduction of the official history book of the
Thunderbirds "We Rode The Thunder", written by my good friend Bob Gore
of the Thunderbirds and is a first person account of an event witnessed by a
spectator named Earl Watkins.
I've pasted it in below for you. It represents an alternate window from which to
view air shows and the people who make up the air show community.
From We Rode the Thunder ; A personal letter to Bob Gore from Earl Watkins;
"Look, Mom! There Are Four of Them!"
I have been a Thunderbird fan for over 40 years. I heard that you are working on
a 50th Anniversary memory book. It's a great idea. Years ago, when the
Thunderbirds were here, I heard your commander say that the
mission of the Thunderbirds was not to fly air shows.
That surprised me, but he
went on to explain that the purpose of the air show was to attract people so you
could tell the Air Force story; so you could show the positive effect the Air
Force has on their lives. I lived one of those stories. I had a Thunderbird
model display in a hanger at the Rickenbacker Air Force Base open house. About
two hours before the Thunderbirds flew, I saw a woman struggle to push her
teenage son into the hangar in his wheel chair.
The boy was bent over, drool on his shirt. I think he had cerebral palsy. The
woman's face was gaunt with creases that only a hopeless struggle leaves behind.
She pointed around the hangar in an un-rewarded attempt to spark a response from
him. "Here! Look here! Look over there. A real airplane." The boy
didn't move from his slump.
After a while, she pushed him outside, her hip
against the wheelchair to
get it over the hangar door tracks. Several times I'd leave my display and look
out to see the sun beat down on the concrete and the people mill around the
static displays. I would see her in the distance, wheeling her son around the
airplanes while she pointed. Sometime later she pushed him back into the hangar
to escape the heat, her face beaded with perspiration and her son lifeless. She
closed her eyes and smiled in the cool air. Her life was one of simple
pleasures.
Other folks filled the hangar to escape the heat, and I grew anxious as I heard
the jets start. As much as I loved this hangar and everything in it, I was here
to watch the Thunderbirds. I was torn by my growing apprehension at missing your
show and not wanting to leave the woman alone with her son. I heard the
jets move down the taxiway, then go to full afterburner for takeoff. I helped
her roll the wheelchair over the hangar door tracks after the solos had taken
off. We were about 25 feet in front of the hangar when the
Diamond flew right over our heads for the opening pass.
The boy looked up. He pointed with his wrist, "Look, Mom. There are four of
them." The woman stood, eyes wide and jaw dropped. Tears streamed down her
cheeks. "He hasn't spoken in years." Their eyes met, the first time in
a long while I think. She dropped to her knees and hugged him. I patted her back
as she
sobbed. I had just seen a miracle.
I held my hand on her back and watched the beautiful red, white, and blue
airplanes describe graceful trails through the sky. I knew that each pilot
worked at his craft, not knowing that down here, among the hundreds of thousands
of people, they had caused a young man's world to glow for just a moment. They
could not know that the person who loved him more than any other now knelt by
his side in emotional exhaustion.
I had come to see an air show, but you showed me a matter of the heart. You had
just told me a story your story. What the commander said was right. After the
team landed, I went to get autographs for the woman and her son, but when I
returned to the hangar, they were gone. I have not seen them again.
Somewhere out here, somewhere in this vast great land, there is a woman who
cleans, feeds, and clothes her helpless son. Maybe, just maybe, he still sees
the four red, white, and blue jets streak through his memory, gives her an
uneven smile and says "Look, Mom. There are four of them."
As you write your book, remember, your story is not only about you, but also
about how important you are to us.-Earl Watkins
I sincerely hope, in light of all the crash video discussion going on these
days, that reading this story has given some of you at least, an alternate
window from which to view the airs how community and it's
people.
Thank you
Dudley Henriques
Earthquake Survival
American Rescue Team International (ARTI)
In 1996 a Turkish made film of experimentally collapsed a
school and home containing mannequins to compare survival of those placed for
"duck and cover vs the triangle of life. I the film all ten of those
using ‘duck and cover’ would have been crushed to death, ten out of
ten of the ‘triangle of life’ would have survived.
The falling parts of buildings crush objects above floor level. Your chances
of survival are far greater if you position yourself on the floor next to things
that will take the shock of falling debris while leaving a triangular void to
the side. The larger and stronger the item the larger and more protective will
be the ‘triangle of life formed’. The fetal position is considered better
than flat out. Beside the bed is better than in or under. Avoid stairs. It is
better to be outside the building near the outside wall than inside.
A Collection of Rambling Thoughts
You may or may not have been made aware that when it comes to flying I was a very slow starter. However I had read extensively as a youngster and had made all kinds of models most of my life. My WWII training and teaching experience made my entry into aviation and flight instruction quite easy and smooth.
A neighbor told me about a flying club which I joined and began taking lessons. I self studied my written and passed my checkride in two months of summer vacation. Then I took an adult education ground school that I was asked to take over the next session. Being older (42) made students expect me to be more experienced than I was. My second teaching season of ground school resulted in several students asked that I also teaching them to fly.
My web site began when I put all my ground school program on to 3.5 inch floppies and gave them away until I found it easier to use the web when the material took eight floppies. The rest is history. with my site nearing 3-million words.
Now at 80 and 35 years as a CFI, I expect to have over 9000 instructional hours and 11,000 total hours before I give it up. My medical says that I am good for at least two more years.
Recently I have been honored by being asked to give brief presentations to several pilot groups. Basically, I have told what I have learned from my students over the years.
Now that I think of it I could have saved many of my students from all the flying basics by ignoring the textbooks and talked about the realities of life, flying and teaching. So rather than flying, I am going to itemize the more important things I have learned about life, flying and teaching.
1. Seek smoothness and precision in your flying basics, always do the right thing…and have a plan to blame all that goes wrong on your instructor.
2. Recognize that you are soon to be the newest pilot in the country, look back every now and then and note that another newest pilot is standing by.
3. Never begin a three hour training flight with two hours of fuel and a full
bladder.
4. This one is really important for those of you who are from Texas. Never, never light a match to see how much gas is in the tank.
5. If you’re not prepared to be the pilot in command, make sure there is someone else in the plane.
6. There are three types of pilots in airplanes. Those who do the things that makes an airplane fly right, those who watch the things that make an airplane fly right, and those who wonder why the airplane does what it does.
7. Any airplane worth risking your life in while flying is worth the time it takes to give a good preflight.
8. Never stop ‘flying the plane’, until you leave the airport in your car.
Now that I’ve put the important things of aviation in to perspective, Are there any question? Of course not! That’s a stupid question to ask a student, especially a student who just soloed. Most students stop asking questions after the first two weeks of the training program.
I have a few thoughts left, so let’s talk about something I like, the beginning of a flying career.
Let me tell you how much I envy you your starting out. Unlike the vast majority of the world you have stepped forward and committed yourself to a greater cause without undue concern for your personal safety or comfort and you did it knowing that it will take many years to get your payback…except for the privilege of letting others know you are a pilot. As an individual you are one in a thousand of the world the to whom everyone must look up to see.
You are a part of the finest career that has ever existed in history. If you haven’t noticed, I like being a pilot and I like being around pilots. Like most pilots I started much later in life that I would have liked. Like nearly all pilots I came into flying for enjoyment. A strange thing happened, I was having so much fun that I decided to get as many others as I could into before I quit. I forgot to quit and at this point I am seriously thinking of making my flying a career.
What I like about flying is that you always know what to talk about even to non-pilots.
In flying there is no half-way feeling or uncertainty. There are only flights, yesterday’s, today’s and the next. Pilots are self-declared experts in risk evaluation. Your health record is more than quality of life, it is your life line to flight. A pilot has two way to die. Not being able to fly is one form of pilot death favored by the government.
I appreciate the idea that a pilot is willing to improve himself and others by sharing information and ideas. He strives for smoothness and consistency in everything related to his flying. A pilot is respectful of the rights of others to their share of quiet and environment.
Pilots stand tall as did Lindbergh firm in their flying thoughts and performance for they know that in flying there is little room for confusion or uncertainty.
The competent pilot considered the legacy of flight as his personal and sacred trust to preserve and use as his personal and sacred trust to protect and defend. Those who do not fly have no way of understanding what it is that makes pilots so different. This being different is a rather important aspect of a pilot’s make-up land attitude.
Fact is that other often say they would like to be pilot-like but feel they don’t have what it takes. Pilots have had to give up much of the ordinary to acquire their title.
It does not take long in any conversation with one or more pilots for it to turn into a discussion of medicals, recent flights, who’s gone, or what’s the FAA doing now. It is not just at war that pilots take care of each other.
The people of America hold pilots in high regard for what they have contributed to the superior status of the country. I like pilots and airports and like being around both of them together or separately.
Time was when Lindbergh took his eight months to solo; the life expectancy of a pilot of a pilot was 1000 hours. Today the expectancy is approaching 70,000 hours. I’m working on it.
For much of my life I have been called radical or extreme and both. I wish to thank those have called me such, for the compliment.
Having been issued a pilots license does not make you a better pilot. Only having respect for yourself and your opportunity can do that. Being good is not enough, being better is.
I admire that pilots are pilots first…regardless of age, race, creed, color, sex, national origin or how long they have been pilots or what they have achieved in flying or life.
Pilots will do most anything asked of them if it is legal and involves flying for a good purpose.
Some of the most heroic actions of recorded history have been performed by pilots. These acts under terrible conditions with better results and fewer complaints for all concerned have come to be expected from pilots. Those of us who are pilots look upon our ability to perform good services because we are pilots.
I like pilots, because being a pilot is a sign of unique achievement.
Pilots are a fraternity/Sorority combined where what is inside of you is more important than what is outside. Pilots form a brotherhood/sisterhood of very nice people…nothing more, nothing less, pure and simple.
As pilots we are specialists of great diversity affecting the success of every government, business, and personal endeavor. Being a pilot means you have the skill and confidence only acquired by a few of the fortunate.
The fact that America is the mother lode of aviation is not an accident.
As potential pilots, the message to others has always been essentially the same. We are someone to look up to. I have joined a group of brothers and sisters who have a commonality of interest, knowledge, desire and future. We hear together the propeller beat, see together the clouds and sky meat and dream of being up there rather than down here.
In my years of flight instruction I have had an opportunity to study all categories of occupation, ability, desire, and capability. At one point or another of my life I have succeeded with all of you. Regardless of what you are I have been able to add the word pilot to your title. Performing as a pilot is about as much fun as you can have wearing clothing.
You will have, at solo, regardless it you’re a doctor, plumber, cook, teacher, nurse, mechanic, student, clerk,
carpenter, electrician, programmer, or waiter found a new name for yourself that you will make known at the first opportunity. If you don’t think so, just wait. You will. I know.
Why is it that I want to become a pilot?
Being a pilot requires that you be able to surmount many mountains.
Some of the mountains are of your own making and others are put into your way by others. Becoming a pilot is not given to you. You climbed the mountain until you acquired the title of pilot even though initially prefixed by ‘student’, We earn it when we solo and on the day we finally will be able to use the word pilot as a stand alone an eternal flame of achievement and pride will ignite our being.
As student pilot you will face times of trial and even temporary failure. The challenge of circumstances will
always be before you. The world of flight is a dangerous environment that is full of known and unknown
situations just waiting for the opportunity to challenge your training and abilities.
At solo you will have met the initial challenge and conquered.
Once you have soloed you have ignited a spark of flying opportunity to which the flame of progress
will keep you warm for when conditions are difficult will light up the darkest of corners. Flying is a source of strength that will keep your desire to improve warm and alive over years of absence. You will fly again most pilots do..
Of all the things you can do only one, soloing will rank high if not highest in your memory. On behalf of all the pilots who have soloed before you. You have taken a giant step forward in your life and after a few more similar steps you have before you have completed your commitment and are ready for a life time unavailable to most others on earth.
If I have had a part in making you what your are as a person and as a pilot, I thank you for making my life of greater worth.
You have no need to worry if the ground bound are wondering about what you’re doing up there. People look up to pilots even when not flying..
What you are doing and are is one of the most envied and admired of achievements in the world.
You need to know that those who don’t fly, envy your leadership into the life of flying. All you have to do now is never quit getting better while seeding the unrealized dream of flight for others yet to come.
I am pretty certain that I can speak for every pilot reading this that they would gladly trade places with anyone about to solo and say, ”We envy you and would trade places with you in a minute to start the journey again.”
I never saw an old pilot who would not be willing to live it all over again. If you’re interested in giving up the T.V. to go flying, see me at the airport.
When you started your first solo and went on the fantastic life that only pilots live, take the youngsters
up, as well because they will only have one life time regret as a pilot and that is that they hadn’t started flying sooner.
Long live our constitution and the pilots who live by it.
Oil
By H. STERLING BURNETT
Every time oil prices rise for an extended period, the news media issue dire
warnings that a crisis is upon us --- it's not!
Many factors are contributing to the currently high gas prices: limited refining
capacity; political restrictions on development of new domestic sources of oil;
reduced supply from several oil exporting countries due to political conflicts;
limited supplies due to the actions of the oil cartel OPEC; and finally,
increased demand for oil in China.
Dwindling supplies of oil are not a factor in the current price at the pump.
New technologies continually increase the amount of recoverable oil, and market
prices --- which signal scarcity --- regularly encourage new exploration and
development.
The history of the petroleum industry is one of predictions of near-term
depletion, followed by the discovery of new oil fields and the development of
technologies for recovering additional supplies.
Before the first U.S. oil well was drilled in Pennsylvania in 1859, petroleum
supplies were limited to crude oil that oozed to the surface.
In 1855, an advertisement for Kier's Rock Oil advised consumers to "hurry,
before this wonderful product is depleted from Nature's laboratory."
Indeed, seven oil-shortage scares occurred before 1950.
Predictions of an oil famine during the Arab oil embargo in the 1970s were
followed by a glut of cheap oil.
World oil production continued to increase throughout the 1990s.
While prices have periodically spiked, oil prices fell to an inflation-adjusted
30-year low in 2001.
Estimates of the world's total oil endowment have continually grown faster than
humanity can pump petroleum out of the ground.
In 1920, the U.S. Geological Survey announced that the world's total endowment
of oil amounted to 60 billion barrels.
By 1950, the estimate had increased to around 600 billion barrels.
The most recent estimate was of a 3,000 billion-barrel endowment.
By 2000, 900 billion barrels of oil had been produced.
If world oil consumption continues to increase at an average rate of 1.4 percent
a year, and no further resources are discovered and no improvements are made in
the technology used to recover oil, the world's presently known supply will not
be exhausted until 2056.
These estimates do not include unconventional oil resources that require
additional processing to extract liquid petroleum.
Oil production from tar sands in Canada and South America would add 600 billion
barrels to the world's supply, and rocks found in Colorado, Utah and Wyoming
alone contain 1,500 billion barrels
of oil.
Worldwide, the oil-shale reserves could be as large as 14,000 billion barrels
--- more than 500 years of oil supply at year 2000 production rates.
It is true that in the long run, an economy that uses petroleum as a primary
energy source is not sustainable.
However, sustainability is a chimera.
Every technology since the birth of civilization has been replaced as people
devised better and more efficient technologies.
The history of energy use is largely one of substitution.
From wood and whale oil in the 19th century, to coal by the 1890s. Coal remained
the world's
largest source of energy until the 1960s.
No one can predict the future, but the world contains enough oil to last beyond
2100.
Only fools would try to anticipate what energy sources our descendants will use
that far in the future.
Spell Checker Broke
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I
was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig
to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer
inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt
tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!
The Old Poodle
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her
faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle
starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that she's lost.
Wandering about, she notices a leopard heading rapidly in her direction with the
intention of having lunch.
The old poodle thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, she immediately settles down to chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?"
Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard, "That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!"
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"
Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with her back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says:
"Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
Moral of the story: Don't mess with old farts...age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience!
Origin of the First Word in
Flying
In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and
it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of
manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot
less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it,! it not only became heavier,
but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane
gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and
did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone
came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! Several ships were destroyed in this
manner before it was determined just what was happening.
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.
Whitts Flying in the
TOILET!!!!!!
From: Rob and Lupe
Date: Fri Feb 16 19:47:46 2001
I knew the subject would get you guys... :)
Please read on.
I will preface this post by saying I ain’t disclosing where I work! And, I
love Gene's site. Have not seen another like it, anywhere!
In my quest for knowledge and to make most use of my time I am going to reveal
my secret. While at work when I have to go sit in the bathroom a while I always
want to take my flying books, manuals, etc but never do. At home its one thing
to go in the "library", but to carry my flying textbook through the
halls at work while bopping to the bathroom would not be too cool. However, this
is some of my best contemplating and studying time.
I have found that individual subjects from Gene's site prints out quite quickly,
folds up nice in the my Docker's pockets, and allows me to discreetly make my
way to the stall of choice in the nearest bathroom. Once there, I unfold my
study materials, and read away!! Upon departure, I can dispose of the material
in the trash can, or save it if I have not finished the reading.... Legs fell
asleep one time, so I had to call it quits!
Well there is my hint to help out all you office worker types. May your toilet
paper be soft, and may you learn a thing about flying at the same time.
Rob
Funny Flying Story
For those needing a reason of some kind for buying an Aircraft.
I have read many posts on the web site from members and on MMAIL who are
thinking about owning their own aircraft and looking for ways to offset the cost
of ownership. I have heard many reasons for and against ownership. Why buy an
aircraft? It's cheaper to rent and you do not have all the hassle with
maintenance, fuel and insurance. Well, here is a little story that I think
explains it all as to why I own my own airplane.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning. No winds and the temperature was just right. So instead of mowing the lawn like my wife had planned for me, I decided to go to the airport and take the Sport out for a run. She yells back at me, "WELL IF YOU GO, TAKE YOUR SON WITH YOU." So I ask my son. Want to go flying with dad? In which he says Yea, Can I take my light saber?
You see, my 9 year son thinks he is a Jedi Knight and that our Sport is his personal X-Wing fighter. He is only 4'5 and has to sit on a pillow in order to see over the glare shield and he always carries his light saber just in case we land on a strange planet in which there might be trouble or civil un-rest. Always prepared this one is. So away we go.
THERE I WAS……
We were straight and level at around 6,000ft and I let him take the controls
of the X-Wing to do some turns to the left and right. Joshua Approach called and
said there was traffic at our 2'oclock 2 miles opposite direction and My son
said to me "Look over there dad, Tie fighter coming right at us". I
told him to steer clear of the Tie Fighter because our lasers were out for
repair and we were un-armed. No reason to provoke a fight.
So even though he is having a blast, I am starting to get a little bored and
thought, "Let's go do a practice approach on the ILS". So I called
Joshua Approach, requested the ILS 25 Approach to Palmdale Full Approach and off
we went. I maneuvered the X-Wing to the VOR and started the turn outbound to the
outer marker. Now my son is just really enjoying this. At the outer marker, the
blue light started to flash and you could hear the BEEP in the headset. My Son
jumps in and said "That Tie Fighter has locked on to us" I said
"That's Right" and I started my evasive maneuver on the procedure
turn.
My Son is listening to the exchange between me and the controller and
wants to chime in on the conversion. I said to my son, "Just hang on;
I will give you a chance". I never should have said that because now
he is all excited to talk on the radio. As I start to turn inbound on
the turn, the Approach control said "Contact tower when established on the
localizer". So I told my young Padawan Learner "OK, when this
needle gets here on the dial, push the radio button and tell the tower that 93 Romeo is inbound on the localizer".
Now imagine this, I am giving basic instrument instruction to a 9 year
old, I cannot get adults to say this during training. So before I can
give him something simpler to say he keys the mike and says.
"REBEL BASE, THIS IS RED 5. WE ARE STARTING OUR ATTACK RUN ON THE
DEATH STAR".
Now this post 9/11 and before I can key my mike and say anything, the tower jumps on and says "RED 5, YOU'RE CLEARED FOR THE APPROACH TO THE DEATH STAR. REPORTS HITS AWAY"Good God.
Now I am waiting for the tower to add "And tell your dad to call this
number" But I hear nothing else. So we continue the approach. Now my son is
in heaven. This is real life stuff to him and he is doing everything I tell him
to do as far as tracking the needle. As we approach the outer marker inbound,
the light starts to flash and there
is that tone again. "Dad, the Death Star has a lock on us". Yes Son,
you keep on the approach, I will worry about the guns.
Everything is going great and now we are approaching the middle marker. My son has noticed the GPS has a red line with an airplane on it and it ends at the Death Star. So he asks me "IS THAT A TARGETING COMPUTER DAD?" Well of course it is, and it shows us where we are to the target. So now he hears Obewan tell him to USE THE FORCE SCOTT and he turns the GPS OFF. Tells me he is OK and does not need the targeting computer because he is using the FORCE.
Now the middle marker light flashes and the tone comes on. I apply full power and the airplane,,,X-Wing,,, Starts a climb. I start the turn to the missed approach path when my son keys the mike and says "HITS AWAY". The tower answers back with "GOOD JOB RED 5, CONTACT REBEL APPROACH ON 126.1"We go back to Mojave SPACEPORT, and I decide that the X-Wing needs a bath. So out comes all the cleaning stuff and we spend the rest of the day washing and waxing the turbo jets and laser pods.
So you see. This is why I own my own aircraft. You cannot beat this
kind of quality time with your kids. And there is no way you can put a
price on that.
Jeff Bryant
Southwest Regional Director
Beech Aero Club
1975 X-Wing Fighter Model B-19
N6993R
The Physics of Flying
Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the
sessions on weather, the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of
sublimation--the act of going from a gas to a solid skipping the intermediate
stage(s). e.g., frost--water vapor in the air becoming a solid on surfaces
without first going through the liquid stage.
Wanting to see if the class had understood the concept, the instructor asked if
anyone could provide an example of something that went straight from a solid to
a gas (expecting "dry ice" as the answer), a previously unknown
section of my mind took control of my mouth and immediately emitted the word
"burrito."
Unknown
WEIGHT
More than you want to know about weight
Weights (Avoirdupois) Weights (Troy and Apothecaries) Jewels Rough
conversion between Imperial and Metric
Avoirdupois
Units of weights 16 dram = 1 oz
16 oz = 1 lb
14 lb = 1 st
2 st = 1 qtr
4 qtr = 1 cwt
20 cwt = 1 ton
Abbreviations
oz - ounce
lb - pound
st - stone
qtr - quarter
cwt - hundredweight
Gram Kilo Dram Ounce (oz) Pound (lb) Stone
Quarter Hundredweight (cwt) Ton
= Gram Kilo Dram Ounce (oz) Pound (lb) Stone Quarter
Hundredweight (cwt) Ton
= Gram Kilo Dram Ounce (oz) Pound (lb) Stone Quarter
Hundredweight (cwt) Ton
Enter number and select unit.
Select other units for conversion.
The abbreviation for hundredweight is "cwt" because "C" is
the Roman symbol for 100. It is called a hundredweight because it is 112 lb
(well, it's close!). It can also be called the long hundredweight to distinguish
it from what the Americans call the short hundredweight, which is 100 lbs. So
the long ton or UK ton is 2240 lbs, and the short ton is 2000 lbs. The metric
tonne is 1000 kg (about 2205 lbs). The word "ton" is derived from the
same source as that of a tunne of wine, a cask which held about 250 gallons.
Tons were in use in the late 15C.
A dram is short for a drachm, but since the avoirdupois drachm is different from
the apothecaries drachm, it could be that the name "dram" was used to
help distinguish it. These different types of weight measurement are a confusion
anyway. The kilogram is at least well defined without having to say which system
you're using! Scots use 'dram' to mean a small glass, probably of whisky! I
don't think this is connected with the weight measurement dram.
A pound is always written as "lb" to prevent confusion with pound
money "£". It is very old, traced back to the Roman "libra"
(which explains its abreviation!). It was defined in England since Ethelred the
Unready (968-1016). In fact, a pound (money) was originally a pound (weight) of
silver, and the symbol for pound (money) £ is a stylised L.
The abbreviation for ounce is "oz". This comes from 15th century
Italian, also "oz" which is an abbreviation of "onza".
"Oncia" seems to be the modern Italian for ounce (although they use
metric measures now, of course) and I suppose that "onza" is a variant
of this. The word "ounce" comes from the Latin "uncia" or
twelfth part. The ounce is a sixteenth part of a pound avoirdupois, but it used
to be a twelfth part of a pound troy. Troy weights are now only used for
precious stones and metals (and not even for that, much), but they used to be
the normal measure of weight. See a Tudor set of measures.
"Pounds measure force, not mass (a weight is a force). The unit of mass in
the Imperial system is a ridiculous unit called a "slug," which weighs
32 pounds avoirdupois under standard conditions. In physics a pound (lb) was a
unit of mass, wheareas pound weight (lb wt) was a unit of weight. However,
scienceworld.wolfram.com says that the pound or pound-force is the unit of
weight and the pound-masses is the unit of mass, although slugs are more used.
However here, they admit that different authors use pound for either mass or
weight. I suspect that this is a difference between American and British usage.
The British obviously decided that if they were going to buy apples on the Moon, then they wanted a pound of apples to contain the same number on Earth, so it should be mass. The Americans said rather that they wanted a pound of apples to feel the same on the Moon as the Earth, so it should be force.
The folks who insist that pounds are always a unit of force tend to be the physics students (probably to make F=m*a easier on first-semester students) while the engineering students will use pounds more as a mass. Ultimately, Congress defined the pound in terms of grams (not Newtons) in the 1890's, and in the 1950's the remnants of the foot/pound using world got together and standardized on the same number of grams, so "pound" is definitely a unit of mass. Of course, there's still "pounds of force" used, abbreviated "lbf," but that has to be differentiated from "regular pounds."
When you think about it, it makes sense that the pound, like the kilogram, is
a unit of mass. The standard has always been a solid object, and in order to
compare what you want to know the "weight" of in terms of this
standard, you'd have to use a beam balance, which ultimately measures mass. The
slug, as I mentioned before, is simply a convenient unit to use so that it takes
1 lbf to accelerate it 1 ft/s^2. Before non-SI metric units fell into disuse,
there was a similar unit called the "hyl," where 1 "kilogram of
force" would be enough to accelerate it 1 m/s^2."
Wool used to be measured in tods. A tod was 28 lbs, or 2 stone. For some reason,
the plural of stone is also stone - like sheep, come to think of it!
Coal on Tyneside was measured in chaldrons of 53 cwt, and keels of 8 chaldrons
or 21 tons 4 cwt. There were 8 Newcastle chaldrons to 15 London chaldrons. A
London chaldron contained about 28.5 cwt or 36 heaped Winchester bushels. There
was plenty of scope for misunderstandings in the coal trade 200 years ago.
Lead was worked in bings containing 8cwt of clean ore. The ore was refined into
pigs of 1.5 cwt, and these pigs were sold by the fother containing 14 pigs for a
total of 21 cwt. Silver was recovered from the lead at about 8 ozs per fother,
although in the Alston area about 42 ozs of silver per fother were recovered.
Americans measure their own weight in pounds rather than the British stone. So
here is a conversion table. 1 st = 14 lb; 2 st = 28 lb; 3 st = 42 lb; 4 st = 56
lb; 5 st = 70 lb;; 6 st = 84 lb; 7 st = 98 lb etc.
"We still sell berries by the pint in this country, but potatoes are sold
by the pound. Potatoes used to be sold by the peck. If my parents were alive
they would be 100 and 101. Since I haven't bought nails in years, I don't know
how they are sold in bulk rates today. When I was a child, my father would send
me to the hardware store by 10 penny nails by the pound. Today they are sold in
plastic bubble packages."
In Britain, we still sometimes buy prawns and shrimps by the pint, but I've not
heard of fruit being sold that way. Strawberries are often sold by the punnet (a
small cardboard basket), but most berries are sold by weight. Potatoes were sold
by the pound, or stone if you bought enough. Now it's all kilos, of course.
Weights (Troy and Apothecaries)
Troy Weight 24 grains = 1 pennyweight
20 pennyweight = 1 troy oz
12 troy oz = 1 troy lb
Apothecaries Weight 20 grains = 1 scruple
3 scruples = 1 drachm
8 drachms = 1 apothecaries oz
Troy weight is a system of weights used for precious stones and metals. The troy
pound is no longer in legal use, but gold is still sold in troy ounce bars.
Apothecaries weight was used for measuring drugs and medicines. Both systems had
the grain, ounce and pound in common (since a troy ounce was the same as an
apothecaries oz).
A pennyweight was called that because it was the weight of a silver penny.
A scruple is derived from the Latin for a small stone, because it's a very small
weight. We also use scruple to mean your conscience pricking you like a small
sharp stone in your shoe!
These weights were not learned at school, because they had very specialised use.
But our normal weights tables were always marked as avoirdupois (which comes
from Old French "to have weight"). The troy system dates from the 10C.
The troy pound was defined as different from the avoirdupois
pound in the reign of Elizabeth I (1558-1603). See this Tudor set of measures,
where the table defines troy weights, and then separates avoirdupois and troy
weights without giving the conversion factor!
1 troy oz = 480 grains
1 troy lb = 5760 grains
1 oz avoirdupois = 437.5 grains
1 lb avoirdupois = 7000 grains
Jewel weights
Troy weight (see above) was used for precious metals and
stones. But individual stones may be described using carats.
200 milligrams = 1 carat
100 points = 1 carat
Carat is derived from "quirrat", Arabic for the seeds of the coral
tree, which were the traditional weights for precious stones.
There is a different meaning for "carat". 24 carat gold is pure gold.
18 carat gold is 18 parts of gold to 6 parts of other metals. 9 carat gold is
mostly something else!. The Americans spell this measure of purity
"karat" to distinguish it from the other sort of carat.
Rough conversion between Imperial and Metric I find many Imperial to Metric
conversions very irritating, because they are far too precise. So here are some
rough conversions which you can carry in your head.
A smartie weighs about a gram.
A pack of butter weighs 250 grams or a quarter of of kilo.
A bag of sugar weighs a kilo.
If you're buying fruit and veg, then (very roughly) 1lb is half a kilo.
Mnemonic for remembering weight imperial to metric conversion:
"Two and a quarter pounds of jam weigh about a kilogram" (or of course
anything else!)
Here is a rough conversion chart:
Accurate to 10gms up to 1lb 8oz and 20 gms above
1 oz = 30 gm
2 oz = 60 gm
4 oz = 110 gm
8 oz = 230 gm
12 oz = 340 gm
1 lb = 450 gm
etc.
If you want an accurate conversion:
1 oz = 28.35 gm
4 oz = 113.4 gm
8 oz = 226.8 gm
12 oz = 340.2 gm
1 lb = 453.59237 gm
1 gm = 0.035 oz
100 gm = 3.527 oz
250 gm = 8.82 oz
500 gm = 1 lb 1.6 oz
1 kilo = 2 lb 3.27 oz
"Robert M. Gary"
Aviation Dictionary
Airspeed: Speed of an airplane. Deduct 25% when listening to a Navy
pilot.
Bank: The folks who hold the lien on most pilots' cars.
Cone of Confusion: An area about the size of New Jersey, located near the final
approach beacon at an airport.
Dead Reckoning: You reckon correctly, or you are.
Engine Failure: A condition which occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become
filled with air.
Firewall: Section of the aircraft specially designed to let heat and smoke enter
the cockpit.
Glide Distance: Half the distance from the airplane to the nearest emergency
landing field.
Hydroplane: An airplane designed to land on a 20,000 foot long wet runway.
IFR: A method of flying by needle and ripcord.
Lean Mixture: Nonalcoholic beer
Nanosecond: Time delay built into the stall warning system.
Parasitic Drag: A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.
Range: Usually about 30 miles beyond the point where all fuel tanks fill with
air.
Rich Mixture: What you order at the other guy's promotion party.
Roger: Used when you're not sure what else to say.
Service Ceiling: Altitude at which cabin crews can serve drinks.
Spoilers: The Federal Aviation Administration.
Stall - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
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